Chuck arrived at my office just in time to join me for the big weekend event 'o the summer: Dragwway 42's Rock n Race held in West Salem, Ohio. To prepare Chuck for a weekend of cars, beer, fried food on a stick and redneck depravity, I sat him down at my desk and advised him on the State's age of consent, fireworks, firearms, DUI and sodomy laws:
We then packed up and set up camp at the raceway's grounds. Here's Chuck marking his territory at the campsite, as kindly suggested by the the dogs:
Chuck then chillaxes before one of the drag races, with a stolen bottle of Camevil's prized Strongbow:
Chuck and Goji meet for the first time. It was anti-climactic, as Goji was more interested in the tater chips:
Fast Eddie tries to hump Chuck, who is apparently a bottom:
Chuck, perhaps imbibing in too much liquid joy, attempts to steal this Mustang and enter the next race. Of course, being unable to reach the gas pedal proved his undoing:
He did, however, re-enact his favorite scene from Death Proof:
Unfortunately for Chuck, "choking the chicken" is a joke that fails to age amongst rednecks, as these people demonstrate with disturbing gusto:
Chuck rocks out to the smooth tunes of Bobzilla's band, Horror of '59:
His zealous attraction to Bobzilla was embarrassing, actually, as he attempts to "cock" block the other fans from rushing the stage:
But Chuck's antics are rewarded with a little tongue action by Bobzilla:
Later that evening, while I went to relieve myself, Chuck turns up missing. Oh noes!:
Where, oh where, could he be?
BUSTED! The cock-snatcher is caught:
Chuck is safely in my custody once again. Rejoice.
Diva and I get cozy with Chuck. "The first taste is free, ladies."
As the festivities went on, someone thought it a good idea to turn Chuck into a party favor. This random redneck demonstrates the practicality of having a rubber chicken beer dispenser:
And of course, everyone else wanted in on the action:
...well, except the more sober ones:
Diva and I show Chuck a good time by making a boobie sammich:
And he was passed around to various campsites that evening until the late hours of the morning.
Before sending him on the way to the next host, I attempted to wash away his sins. Somehow, though, I don't think he'll ever be clean.
Chuck saga to be continued from somewhere in the U.K., I believe....